Fostering Secure Attachment
through Effective Communication
One day: Saturday, February 10, 2024
Virtual Communication Skills for Couples Workshop
This one-day live virtual workshop is designed for couples in a committed relationship who want to enhance their communication and conflict management skills. If you have a good relationship, it will become even stronger. If you experience difficulties, you will gain practical tools to repair rifts. You will learn how to restore secure attachment with each other. The workshop is facilitated by a Licensed Professional Counselor with four decades of expertise.
*Register by January 13, 2024 to receive $100 off.
During the “honeymoon phase”, couples relish the blissful dance of intertwined hearts. It’s a delightful ecstatic experience to be cherished.
As time moves on, conflicts arise. If not handled skillfully by both people, emotional wounds mount up.
Unknowingly, one more brick gets added to an invisible wall if rifts are not repaired.
Don’t let that happen to you. You can learn how to create and sustain the flourishing relationship you’ve always wanted.
Couples who have been together for a while express the following concerns.
Do any of these apply to you?
- My partner doesn’t follow through on agreements.
- To avoid conflict, I do the chores and then feel resentful.
- I don’t feel comfortable sharing some vulnerable emotions with my partner.
- When I don’t speak up, pressure builds. I don’t want to say things I regret.
- I hate conflict. Why can’t we just be happy?
- I feel hurt when my partner judges or criticizes me.
- I know I shouldn’t be critical, but it’s hard to stop myself sometimes.
- We get too emotionally reactive.
- When my partner gets quiet and distant, I feel anxious.
- I hate feeling lonely and far apart.
- I want to feel more deeply bonded like we did in the beginning.
- We used to have more fun together. Sometimes I feel bored.
- Our lovemaking lacks emotional depth and passion.
- There’s been an affair, but we want to repair our marriage.
- By the time we get home from work and the kids’ events, we have to prepare dinner, do homework and get the kids to bed. We’re too exhausted to enjoy quality time together.
Rest assured, these issues can be prevented or eliminated.
You’ll learn about four decades of research by Dr. John Gottman on what makes masters and disasters of marriage. We also draw from Dr. Sue Johnson’s evidence-based Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy. Both world-famous people have received prestigious awards.
What kind of activities will we do?
You’ll enjoy a safe place to learn new skills under the guidance of an expert psychotherapist who specializes in couple therapy.
You will listen to short lectures and watch demonstrations. Then you’ll practice new skills as a couple. You’ll be invited to share insights with the group and ask any questions.
- You will learn communication skills, the backbone of a healthy relationship.
- Listen and empathize so you both feel understood and respected.
- Share from your heart in a way that draws your partner closer.
- Create win-win solutions while being true to your Authentic Self.
- Set aside defensiveness, blaming, criticism, contempt and stonewalling.
- Skillfully maneuver through anger, fear, and conflict avoidance.
- Apologize and forgive.
- Ask for what you need in a tactful assertive manner.
- Turn toward your partner when they make requests.
- Develop the courage to be vulnerable and transparent.
- Deepen your intimacy on all levels: body, mind and spirit.
- Develop true friendship.
- Generate win-win solutions with effective compromise tools.
- Understand your personalities, your unique needs, and your gifts.
- Apply the energy that was tied up in conflicts to create your fondest dreams.
- Your love will grow exponentially.
“We get through conflicts much quicker so they don’t damage our relationship. As a result, we are more comfortable and confident in our relationship. Our future looks brighter than ever. Thank you, Benita!” – J.C., Writer/Editor/Trainer
Why I Facilitate Couples Communication Workshops and Marriage Retreats
Committed relationships are the backbone of a healthy society. Dysfunctional marriages pose one of the biggest challenges in this society. Divorce causes pain for the couple, their children and extended families. Emotional anguish makes it difficult to work. Stress increases illness. That’s why I am passionate about Couple Counseling. When a couple learns how to love well, the positive impact reaches into their children’s lives as well as their siblings, parents, friends, and workplaces. Healthy couples raise healthy children. Healthy adults become healthy leaders who generate a ripple effect for hundreds of people.
“Our marriage has shifted from constant struggles, tension, and unhappiness … to clear communication, compatibility, and fun. We will be grateful to you forever!” – J.H., Artist
Want a preview of this couples workshop: Fostering Secure Attachment through Effective Communication?
Watch this TV interview. I talk about the four behaviors that Dr. Gottman says predict divorce with 94% accuracy. Scroll down on the webpage until you see the TV interview.
Many couples devote 90% of their time and energy to children, jobs and their extended family. No wonder they drift apart.
Some couples tolerate the distance in their marriage until the children graduate. Then, they face the daunting challenge of trying to leap over the Grand Canyon. It’s hard to connect with each other again.
Unwittingly, some couples leave their marriage vulnerable for someone to come between them. I am not saying that affairs are right. I’m just saying it happens sometimes. You can prevent affairs. Wouldn’t it be better to talk about what has led to the distance and repair the relationship injuries so your marriage is safe and secure?
Distressed couples take vacations, hoping to get close again. Sometimes, they don’t feel happy one month afterward. That’s exasperating. They have not learned how to experience healthy emotional intimacy, especially during conflicts. As a result, even little things can set them off. You know … the straw that broke the camel’s back.
The good news is that you can repair relationship injuries so that your hearts open again. You can prevent regrettable situations. You can learn relationship skills, just like you learn anything else.
Sometimes, counseling sessions are too slow. There’s only so much material we can cover in 50 minutes. It breaks my heart to see couples suffer. You can accelerate your progress in this intensive workshop.
Complete the questionnaire and I’ll respond within 24-48 hours. Space is limited to 6 couples so register early.
“Benita has an uncanny ability to understand each of our unique personalities, and to help us build a bridge.” N.A., Speech Pathologist
This is an educational format, not marriage counseling.
If you were taking a college course, you would attend class 2-3 times a week for 3-4 months. In addition, you would do several hours of homework every week.
If you want a bachelor’s degree to prepare you for a successful career, you would attend four years of college. Maybe more. You would think nothing of it.
The skills needed to create a healthy marriage require at least one “college” course. If you want a superb relationship, you need a four-year degree. Plus, ongoing continuing education. You would expect to do that in your job. Why not marriage?
We need to be realistic about the education required for healthy relationships. We need to stop beating ourselves up because we don’t already know how to do it. School didn’t teach these skills.
Don’t keep waiting, hoping time will heal. Time does nothing. It’s what you DO with the time that heals.
Small unresolved conflicts snowball into mountains if they are not repaired.
Be smart. Get educated. Remove the stigma of getting help. You and your relationship deserve to flourish.
“My husband and I did therapy with you 18 years ago when he lost a job and our marriage was floundering. Our marriage is more solid than ever. You helped us see the right road to travel. We will always be grateful to you for your insight and wisdom.” – JCS, classical guitarist
FAQs regarding this Communication Skills for Couples Workshop
Q: Do we have to be married to attend this workshop?
A: You can be married, engaged, or living together. There must be a commitment to make the relationship succeed.
Q: What if I’m uncomfortable sharing in a group?
A: That’s understandable. You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to with the group. There will be plenty of activities where you and your partner share privately. However, if you choose to share with the group, you’ll receive expert coaching. You will discover that other couples have similar issues and that you’re not alone. I will teach you how to communicate from your heart without blaming your partner. That helps you both feel safe.
(If you would prefer a confidential setting, contact me to schedule a Private Couples Retreat tailored to your needs.)
Q: We have been in therapy before, but we still have conflicts. Will this workshop help us?
A: Conflicts are normal. All of our fears and insecurities arise within an intimate relationship. When you help each other feel securely attached, you experience the deepest healing.
Q: What theory and techniques will you be using?
A: We will use Dr. John Gottman’s 40 years of research on this question: What makes masters and disasters of marriage? We will also use Dr. Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy based on attachment theory.
Benita Esposito is a certified Gottman Leader for educational workshops.
Click here to read this article: Gottman Research FAQs. Read about how Dr. Gottman predicts divorce with a 93.6% accuracy rate.
Click here to read the key findings of Gottman’s research.
Q: How many people will attend the workshop?
A: A maximum of 6 couples. Register early to ensure your seats.
Q: Are there couples who should NOT attend?
A: This retreat is not appropriate if …
- there is physical, emotional, or verbal abuse
- there is drug or alcohol abuse
- there is an active affair
- you are a highly conflicted couple
- you are on the edge of divorce.
If any of these are discovered, I’ll make an appropriate referral.
Benita is patient, professional and sincerely interested in our situation. She easily understands the context of the situation without too much explanation. – A.W.
Prerequisites for this Communication Skills for Couples Workshop
(1) Please watch my YouTube video: “Four Horsemen, Don’t Let Them Ruin Your Marriage.”
(2) You will each complete an application before your registration is accepted. Please apply early to allow time for this process.
(3) You are invited to scan the following books. They will give you an overview of this workshop. If you don’t like to read, buy the audiobooks. Or, search for Drs. John and Julie Gottman and Dr. Sue Johnson on YouTube.
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work revised edition 2015 by Dr. John Gottman
- Biblical Reference Guide for the Gottman Method by David Penner and Laura Heck (It’s like the short cliff notes version of the book above.)
- Hold Me Tight or Created for Connection: The Hold Me Tight Guide for Christian Couples by Dr. Sue Johnson
(4) New clients must attend a 10-minute Discovery Call. Then you will schedule a complimentary intake session via Zoom if it seems like this is a good fit for you. Both of you must be present in the Zoom meeting and the intake session.
“With Benita’s loving, non-judgmental guidance we learned what she meant by “going straight up the mountain.” We transformed our relationship with each other, and our relationship with ourselves. We are sure that Benita’s influence on our lives will be forever.” – P&J G. RN, Employment Recruiters
Couples Communication Workshop Schedule
One day 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. We will meet for two hours at a time and then take a one-hour break. Total: 6 direct hours.
Regular fee: $697 per couple for one full day.
New clients: Tuition includes a half-hour intake session valued at $125.00. Attend this intake session before you register. We need to make sure this intensive workshop is a good fit for you. Complete the questionnaire on the Contact Page to get started.
*$100 Discount: The first 3 couples to register by January 13 will receive a discount of $100 for a total of $597 per couple.
Registration deadline: February 3, 2024
New Clients: Requirements before your Discovery Call
Both of you must attend the 10-minute Discovery. Please read this entire workshop webpage. Also, please watch the TV interview “Four Horsemen: Don’t Let Them Ruin Your Marriage.” Click here.
During the Discovery Call, I’ll answer your questions. If all lights are green, we’ll schedule your intake session. If it’s not a good fit, I’ll suggest private sessions or other resources.
Apply for the workshop and schedule your intake session.
Click here to complete the Questionnaire on the Contact page. Tell me that you want to apply for the Couples Workshop. I’ll contact you within two business days (Monday-Friday) to schedule a 10-minute complimentary Discovery Call. Both of you must be present at the Zoom meeting.
Benita A. Esposito is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Georgia and a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in North Carolina. She earned a master’s degree in Clinical Psychology. You’ll receive the benefit of her four decades of experience. She has completed level three of three advanced training programs by the Gottman Institute, and she is a certified Gottman Leader. She also completed advanced training in Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy by Dr. Sue Johnson. She is certified in Brainspotting to help you heal unconscious material.
Benita specializes in working with adult individuals and couples to create flourishing relationships. She also specializes in counseling highly sensitive introverts. She facilitates deep emotional healing to reduce depression, anxiety, stress and trauma. Benita teaches success skills to help people flourish as their Authentic Self. Click here for bio.
Your cancellation notice must be made in writing via email. You may cancel up until 21 days before the workshop. If you cancel within 20 days, there is no refund, but you may apply your fee to private sessions. A $50 administration fee is non-refundable.
In the unlikely event that Benita cancels the workshop, you will receive a full refund.