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Happy Wife, Happy Life

I’m writing to men here. But if you are a woman who is married, dating or engaged, you’ll probably want to read this, too. Give him a gentle nudge to read it. Read more

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Valentine’s Couples Retreat 2020

This small group Valentine’s Retreat is perfect for couples who want to strengthen their marriage. It is also for engaged, co-habitating and dating couples who want to prevent unnecessary problems from arising in the first place.

One day: February 15, 2020. 9:30am – 5:30pm

Young Harris, Georgia in the Blue Ridge Mountains, USA

As couples move beyond the “honeymoon” phase, they inevitably encounter conflicts. If not handled skillfully by both people, emotional wounds mount up, adding one more brick to an invisible wall. Don’t wait until the wall is too high to climb. Invest in the training you need to create the flourishing relationship you know is possible. Read more

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How to Choose a Marriage Counselor

Most people don’t realize that Couples Counseling is one of the most challenging specialties in our counseling industry. That’s why many therapists don’t offer it.

Let’s consider this analogy. If you developed a heart condition, you would begin with a visit to your primary care physician who is a generalist. But you would not receive all the help you need there. You would need to see a cardiologist who has years of advanced training in heart conditions. Read more

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Pre-Marital Counseling

Are you considering pre-marital counseling to get your marriage off to a healthy start? I am happy to help you learn research-based skills so you can become a master of marriage.

Why is pre-marital counseling so important? For marriages that end, half of them occur during the first seven years. Second marriages have an even higher divorce rate than first-time marriages. Third-time marriages have an even higher divorce rate than second-time marriages. You get the picture. The average couples waits six years before seeking marriage counseling. That’s way too long to suffer and let bad habits brew. Bottom line is: when you give yourselves the gift of pre-marital counseling, you will build a strong foundation so you can avoid a lot of potential misery. Read more

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Dr. John Gottman’s Marriage Research Statistics

Dr. Gottman’s mathematical research on “masters” and “disasters” of marriage predicts divorce with 94% accuracy rate based on 3,000 couples in longitudinal studies.

Here are some key statistics below.

  • Half of all divorces occur in the first 7 years.

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Marriage Essentials: Appreciation and Affection

Do you know that expressing appreciation is one of the essential ingredients of a happy marriage? That’s right. According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, we must express at least five positive interactions to neutralize the impact of one negative interaction. In really happy marriages, couples express 20 positives to every one negative. The mostly destructive interactions contain criticism, defensiveness, contempt or stonewalling. When we express ourselves in this way without effective repair attempts, Gottman predicts divorce with 94% accuracy. Read more

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12 Agreements for Healthy Relationships

1.  Vulnerability + authenticity + empathy = safety and intimacy
2.  Tell the truth faster.
3.  Ask: What can I do to love my partner in more purity?
4.  Increase your ability to love yourself deeply.
5.  Find the innermost pain, be non-judgmental. Stay present. Breathe! Read more

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Marriage Story: From Cold War to Resurrection

“Our Journey Together With Benita A. Esposito”

 We started our journey with Benita just over eight months ago.  Our 15-year-old marriage was hanging on by a shredded string and I personally didn’t see any real good outcome from any attempt to try and repair it.  We were traveling in a tight circle of repetition and we couldn’t get out.  My husband and I were the absolute worst roommates on the planet.  And to add to the mix, we had two children who got to witness our madness. Read more

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Marriage Counseling Story. Healing the Physical Heart and Emotional Heart.

square04Research published by the American Medical Association indicates that 90% of all disease is stress-related. Our mind, body, emotions, spirit and relationships intricately affect each other. When we heal the emotional or spiritual root of dis-ease, pain can ease up. Sometimes other physical symptoms vanish completely. I’ll show you what I mean in the following story. Emily’s heart condition and her emotional pain healed when her husband joined her in counseling. Psychotherapy can accelerate healing, and is used as an adjunct to medicine. Read more

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Marriage Counseling, Increasing Marital Intimacy: Carol’s Story.

Carol’s heart was racing. She thought it could be a heart attack so she went to the emergency room. An MRI revealed no heart dysfunction so her doctor diagnosed it as a panic attack. She came to therapy because she wanted to discover the underlying cause so she could heal the condition without drugs.

Session 1. Carol opened our first session by explaining her recent medical emergency and then announced, “Let me tell you what I think is really causing this. It’s my relationship with my husband!”

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