Personal Transformation. Catepillar to Butterfly

It’s winter. I am feeling drawn to dreamstimefree_1905831 (Small)go deep inside, like a caterpillar feels drawn to spin a cocoon and close out the rest of the world. There seems to be a metamorphosis occurring that I do not quite understand. I need more peace and quiet. It is not acceptable to be so busy anymore. I have been having dreams indicating core transformation. Read more

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Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Saturday April 18, 2015. 9:45am-noonCouple_beach_BenitaEsposito

A Workshop

Learn how to avoid “Disasters of Marriage.”

Based on Dr. Gottman’s 40 years of research with 3,000 couples.

  • Half of all divorces occur within 7 years.
  • Discover the  single biggest factor that predicts divorce at 16 years of marriage.
  • Four behaviors that predict divorce within 6 years of marriage with 94% accuracy.
  • Unhappy couples have a 35% increased chance of serious illness.
  • Trying to solve conflicts when you are stressed only makes things worse.

Become a “Master of Marriage.”

  1. Communicate, listen and empathize so you become each others best friend.
  2. Affair-proof your marriage by learning how to meet your spouse’s needs.
  3. Enhance emotional, physical, spiritual intimacy.

This workshop is based on 2 books: (1) New York Times Best Seller: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, PhD. (2) Biblical Reference Guide for The Gottman Method by Dave Penner, PhD. The Gottman Institute.

Time: Saturday April 18, 2015. 10:00am-noon. Please sign in by 9:45a.m.

Location: Good Shepherd Church. 495 Herbert Hills Drive, Hayesville, NC 28904

Who is Invited: Married, engaged, co-habitating, dating couples + singles who want to prepare themselves to create a healthy relationship.

Tuition: Love Offering

Registration: Complete the Contact Page by April 14. Or call 770.998.6642. Tell me how many will attend.  Please forward to your friends.

Want a Preview? Search YouTube for Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Gottman “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse – The Gottman Institute.”

BenitaEsposito 2013

Benita A. Esposito, MA, LPC

Facilitator: Benita A. Esposito, MA

Licensed Professional Counselor

Offices in Blairsville and Atlanta, Georgia

Specialties: Marriage counseling, couples counseling. Stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, PTSD. Holistic healing and psychotherapy for S.M.A.R.T. women and the men who love them. SMART = spiritual, mature, authentic, responsible, trustworthy.

To schedule a private individual or couples counseling session, or to inquire about intensive couples retreats or other workshops, complete the Contact Page.

Event Schedule – read the entire event schedule.

Contact: Benita A. Esposito, MA, LPC

Phone: 770.998.6642

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9 Meditation Tips

Research shows that meditation helps reduce anxiety and stress. It helps reduce blood pressure and enhances focus, memory and learning. It helps you get a better night’s sleep and increases your creativity. You will have a deeper sense of inner peace. Most likely your physical health will improve as well. Mine does every time I meditate.

To get the most out of your meditation, try the following things. Read more

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Dr. John Gottman’s Marriage Research FAQs

Is Dr. John Gottman really able to predict whether a couple Bride&Dad1will get divorced with 94% accuracy?

Statements about the 94% accuracy rate of divorce prediction have become a source of confusion. People hear Dr. Gottman’s prediction rate is 90 or 85 or 94 percent accurate (depending on the study) and find it amazing, unbelievable and downright scary. (He often tells his wife that this is why they don’t get invited to more dinner parties!) Read more

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Dr. John Gottman’s Marriage Research Statistics

Couple happy brunetteDr. Gottman’s mathematical research on “masters” and “disasters” of marriage predicts divorce with 94% accuracy rate, based on 3,000 couples in longitudinal studies.

Statistics Read more

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Will Your Marriage Survive?

Couple in white midageAfter four decades of research tracking 3,000 couples, Dr. John Gottman compared the communication habits of couples who stayed married with couples who divorced within 15 years. He isolated four behaviors that unhappy couples use which predict divorce with 94 percent accuracy. That may seem outlandish, but it’s backed up by solid research.

Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

1. Criticism: Attacking your partner’s character with the intent of making him or her wrong. Your sentences start with “you always…” “you never…“you’re the kind of person who …”

2. Contempt: With an attitude of superiority, you attack your partner’s sense of self, intentionally insulting him or her. Words can hurt as much as physical violence. Contempt may include emotional, verbal and psychological abuse.

• You don’t feel guilty calling your partner names or cursing.

• You think that hostile humor, sarcasm or mockery is OK.

• Your body language & tone of voice may include sneering, glaring, or rolling your eyes.

3. Defensiveness: You feel like a victim, trying to protect yourself from an attack by the enemy.

• Frequent comments include: “It’s not my fault.”  “I didn’t do it.”  “If you hadn’t done X, I wouldn’t have done Y.”  “That’s not true, you’re the one who …” “It’s not fair.”

• Cross-complaining: when your partner complains, you don’t try to understand. Instead, you fire off a complaint of your own, dismissing what your partner said.

• Yes-butting: You start off by agreeing but end up disagreeing, ignoring your partner’s feelings.

• You keep repeating yourself, hoping your partner will get it this time. You don’t validate anything your partner says.

4. Stonewalling: You withdraw from the relationship because you are uncomfortable with conflict. You hope your partner will stop talking if you don’t add fuel to the fire. Although your intentions may be good, stonewalling severs the emotional connection in your relationship, and that’s never a good thing.

If you would like to learn how to repair a relationship by replacing the Four Horsemen with healthy communication, please Contact me for Marriage Counseling, Couples Counseling, Pre-marital Counseling and Dating advice. I’ll help you get it right this time.

Benita A. Esposito, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor

Phone: 770.998.6642

Flourishing Lives for S.M.A.R.T. Women and the Men Who Love Them

(Spiritual + Mature + Authentic + Responsible + Trustworthy)

Reference: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman and Nan Silver. Purchase the revised edition 2015.

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