Whether it’s with your spouse or your mother, if you don’t already experience an emotionally secure connection, even little conflicts can damage the relationship. Read more
That’s one of the first questions people ask me when they call about marriage counseling.
The answer is: It depends. Can you both answer ‘yes’ to these questions? Read more
Most people don’t realize that Marriage Counseling* is one of the most challenging specialties in our industry. That’s why many therapists don’t offer it.
Let’s consider this analogy. If you developed a heart condition, you would begin with a visit to your primary care physician who is a generalist. But you would not receive all the help you need there. You would need to see a cardiologist who has years of advanced training and experience in heart conditions. Read more
Key Concept: Vulnerability + Authenticity => Safety + Intimacy
Many of us feel uncomfortable with conflict. In fact, some of us hate conflict. We try to avoid it and hope it goes away. We’re like an ostrich sticking our head in the sand. We like to think “time heals” but more often than not, emotions intensify, and then there’s one incident that breaks the camel’s back. We distance from the one we love most, or we get critical, defensive or contemptuous. Either way (distancing or attacking) hurts. Read more
Q: What’s the success rate of your Couples Counseling programs?
I use two proven research-based Couple Therapy programs: Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman Couple Therapy Method. Research proves these approaches help couples build (or rebuild) the bonds of love and connection. 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements. Read more
Why is pre-marital counseling so important? For marriages that end, half of them occur during the first seven years. Second marriages have an even higher divorce rate than first-time marriages. Third-time marriages have an even higher divorce rate than second-time marriages. You get the picture. The average couples waits six years before seeking marriage counseling. That’s way too long to suffer and let bad habits brew. Bottom line is: when you give yourselves the gift of pre-marital counseling, you will build a strong foundation so you can avoid a lot of potential misery. Read more
Dr. John Gottman, professor emeritus at University of Washington, studied 3,000 couples over 30 years to determine what makes “masters of marriage” and “disasters of marriage.” He can predict divorce with 93% accuracy. We now know exactly what destroys marriages, and what is needed to create happy marriages.
Click the video below to learn about The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Read more
Statements about the 94% accuracy rate of divorce prediction have become a source of confusion. People hear Dr. Gottman’s prediction rate is 90 or 85 or 94 percent accurate (depending on the study) and find it amazing, unbelievable and downright scary. (He often tells his wife that this is why they don’t get invited to more dinner parties!) Read more
Statistics Read more
Does Wealth Create True Fulfillment?
Let me tell you a story about my friend, Jan Dahlin Geiger. Many years ago when Jan was in her mid-30’s, she was an executive earning $100,000 per year. In today’s dollars, adjusted for inflation, that would be $300,000. She was ranked in the top 5% of all income-earners in the U.S., and the top 1% of all women income-earners. She had reached every goal she had ever set. Married with two young sons, you would have thought her life was idyllic, but she was not happy. Why? At first, she did not know why. Read more