I’m writing to men here. But if you are a woman who is married, dating or engaged, you’ll probably want to read this, too. Give him a gentle nudge to read it. Read more
This small group Valentine’s Retreat is perfect for couples who want to strengthen their marriage. It is also for engaged, co-habitating and dating couples who want to prevent unnecessary problems from arising in the first place.
Whether it’s with your spouse or your mother, if you don’t already experience an emotionally secure connection, even little conflicts can damage the relationship. Read more
That’s one of the first questions people ask me when they call about marriage counseling.
The answer is: It depends. Can you both answer ‘yes’ to these questions? Read more
Most people don’t realize that Couples Counseling is one of the most challenging specialties in our counseling industry. That’s why many therapists don’t offer it.
Let’s consider this analogy. If you developed a heart condition, you would begin with a visit to your primary care physician who is a generalist. But you would not receive all the help you need there. You would need to see a cardiologist who has years of advanced training in heart conditions. Read more
Key Concept: Vulnerability + Authenticity => Safety + Intimacy
Many of us feel uncomfortable with conflict. In fact, some of us hate conflict. We try to avoid it and hope it goes away. We’re like an ostrich sticking our head in the sand. We like to think “time heals” but more often than not, emotions intensify, and then there’s one incident that breaks the camel’s back. We distance from the one we love most, or we get critical, defensive or contemptuous. Either way (distancing or attacking) hurts. Read more
Q: What’s the success rate of your Couples Counseling programs?
I use two proven research-based Couple Therapy programs: Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman Couple Therapy Method. Research proves these approaches help couples build (or rebuild) the bonds of love and connection. 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements. Read more
Are you considering pre-marital counseling to get your marriage off to a healthy start? I am happy to help you learn research-based skills so you can become a master of marriage.
Why is pre-marital counseling so important? For marriages that end, half of them occur during the first seven years. Second marriages have an even higher divorce rate than first-time marriages. Third-time marriages have an even higher divorce rate than second-time marriages. You get the picture. The average couples waits six years before seeking marriage counseling. That’s way too long to suffer and let bad habits brew. Bottom line is: when you give yourselves the gift of pre-marital counseling, you will build a strong foundation so you can avoid a lot of potential misery. Read more
Dr. John Gottman, professor emeritus at University of Washington, studied 3,000 couples over 30 years to determine what makes “masters of marriage” and “disasters of marriage.” He can predict divorce with 93% accuracy. We now know exactly what destroys marriages, and what is needed to create happy marriages.
Click the video below to learn about The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Read more
Is Dr. John Gottman really able to predict whether a couple will get divorced with 94% accuracy?
Statements about the 94% accuracy rate of divorce prediction have become a source of confusion. People hear Dr. Gottman’s prediction rate is 90 or 85 or 94 percent accurate (depending on the study) and find it amazing, unbelievable and downright scary. (He often tells his wife that this is why they don’t get invited to more dinner parties!) Read more