This article was written by one of my clients who chose to remain anonymous. I’ll call her Sally. She was a smart business leader whom people respected. She felt confident at work, but she had trouble forming meaningful friendships. She felt empty inside. Read more
Next Breathwork Retreat: One Saturday, July 13, 2019
Visit the Events Page for all the retreat updates.
While weekly therapy sessions help sustain steady growth, sometimes this may be too slow for you. If you are eager to make faster progress, I’d like to tell you about a technique that creates breakthroughs better than any method I know.
My clients are smart. They have strong mental processing skills. Some of my clients have been trying to change life-long patterns by using cognitive therapy. While they get smarter, after a while they get downright frustrated with the slowness of therapy and all the money and time they’ve invested. The same old bothersome habits cycle around and around within themselves and in their marriages.
Why the slow progress with cognitive therapy?
We can’t always understand why we are … the way we are on a logical level and make the changes we want.
Let’s see how neuroscience helps answer this question.
When we’ve experienced emotionally or physically painful events, our smart brains figured out how to help us survive. The instinctual part of our brain chose from this menu in a nanosecond: fight, flight, freeze, or faint. Our automatic reactions worked. We survived.
After a painful event ends, two systems of our brain hard-wire our coping patterns.
(1) the part that helps us avoid pain so we don’t touch a hot stove again, and
(2) the part that seeks pleasure.
Let’s take each one at a time.
(1) To avoid pain and feeling bad, we tried our best to elicit positive responses from our caregivers when we were children. Examples are pleasing people even when it hurts us, taking care of others so they don’t feel bad, working too much, and trying to be perfect. As adults, we may feel compelled to do these behaviors even though we know they are not healthy for us.
(2) We also developed unconscious habits to seek comfort. Examples are eating comfort food like ice cream, sugar and simple carbohydrates. Some of us turned to recreational drugs and alcohol. Others turned to over-exercising or high-risk behaviors such as extreme sports or gambling. Others became obsessed with sex, porn and romantic relationships. Some of us have shopped way too much. Again, we may know it’s not good for us, but we do it anyway.
These coping behaviors were hard-wired into the unconscious part of the brain and became habits that are difficult to change because they are part of the original survival strategy.
To understand how you can effectively make the changes you desire, read on.
Painful memories are stored in two places: in the body and in the emotional part of the brain called the amygdala. The parts of the brain that process emotions and those that regulate body functions are closely connected. They talk with each other easily.
On the other hand, the part of the brain that processes logic (the pre-frontal cortex) doesn’t communicate well with the amygdala where the painful emotional memories are stored. It’s almost impossible to rationally understand the emotional roots of life-long limiting patterns without therapy.
With cognitive therapy, we can get a glimpse of how our adult behavior is rooted in our childhood, but we still can’t change it from a logical level. If we could, we would have done so a long time ago. That’s why talk therapy generates limited results.
So how can we effectively transform self-defeating patterns?
We have to find a healing method that accesses the emotional and physical memory below the level of our conscious rational mind.
Breathwork creates rapid deep change because we bypass the logical part of the brain and access the original emotional memories where habits were laid down to help us survive. With breathwork, we make changes on the cellular level of the body and on the emotional level.
To read a description of breathwork, click here.
After the deep emotional healing in breathwork is completed, the pre-frontal cortex can come back online and make sense of the experience so the wisdom can integrate into conscious memory. Clients describe amazing results from breathwork.
Read the breathwork client testimonials here.
There is much more to life that is possible for you, and I want this for you. More creativity, more emotional intimacy, more inner peace, more centeredness, more brilliance, more intuition, more empathy, more free-flowing energy in your body that generates deep healing on all levels, more deep connection with the healing power of the Holy Spirit.
As Einstein said, we only use 10% of our brain. With breathwork, you can access enlightened spiritual states of consciousness far beyond the limits of your pre-frontal cortex. We invoke unconditional love and healing from the Holy Spirit, who guides the process.
Be sure to read all these articles.
Click here to read a description of Breathwork.
Tuition for Breathwork Retreat July 13, 2019: $289.
Early Bird Discount: Save $25.00. $260 when your register by June 13, 2019.
Location: Young Harris, Georgia overlooking Lake Chatuge and the Blue Ridge Mountains.
Space is limited 6 people so register early.
To Regsiter: Please send me an email if you would like to attend, and I’ll send you PayPal instructions.
Pre-requisite: 3 or more private sessions. New clients should schedule a complimentary 10-minute phone call to see if this retreat is a good fit for you. Complete the contact page.
If you are allergic to cats, tell me know before you register so we can discuss if this retreat is appropriate for you. The retreat is held at my home. I have one cat and I can keep her in my garage if necessary.
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We also do Breathwork in our two-day weekend retreats.
3. Visit the Event Page for all the retreat updates.
by Benita A. Esposito, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor
“In insecure relationships, we disguise our vulnerabilities so our partner never really sees us.” ―Sue Johnson, Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships
Do you judge yourself for being needy? Well, I did for the longest time. Read more
1 day Saturday, March 10, 2018 9:30am-5:30pm
Young Harris, Georgia
In the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains
Early Bird: February 3. Save $29.00
While weekly therapy sessions help sustain steady growth, sometimes you want to take giant leaps forward. I’d like to tell you about Breathwork, a mind-body-spirit technique that creates breakthroughs better than any method I know. Read more
Here’s a summary of the most important insights I have gained from my four decades of personal and spiritual growth work.
Key 1. In the early days, I searched for the right psychological and spiritual techniques to get rid of my emotional and physical pain. Read more
If you’re like me, all too frequently your mind wonders off into a jungle of negative thoughts causing stress, anxiety or depressed mood. Like little kids taunting you on a playground, your Inner Critic harasses you with nasty messages such as: You’re not good enough. Keep trying harder. You don’t have time to rest and meditate. You don’t have time to schedule a day to play with your friend. Keep going. Complete that next task. The Inner Critic relentlessly cracks the whip.
Trying harder has helped you succeed. You’re smart. You are a high achiever. You excel in many ways, but still, way down deep inside, you may feel the pangs of anxiety. If you pulled back the covers of your psyche and told the truth to yourself, you feel a nagging kind of emptiness. Your health may be worse for the wear, and your intimate relationships may be less than fulfilling. Sound familiar? Read more
Research shows that meditation helps reduce anxiety and stress. It helps reduce blood pressure and enhances focus, memory and learning. It helps you get a better night’s sleep and increases your creativity. You will have a deeper sense of inner peace. Most likely your physical health will improve as well. Mine does every time I meditate.
To get the most out of your meditation, try the following things. Read more
A bright 30-something woman, Susan vowed that she would never return to her abusive ex-boyfriend. But two weeks ago, she did. She was driving down the interstate while he sat in the passenger seat. They were traveling to a concert in another city. His rage flared into a frenzy. She had seen this way too many times before. Yelling at Susan and hitting her in the face, he grabbed her cell phone. Knowing her life was in danger, she struggled to decide the best way to escape. She exited the interstate onto a city street, stopped the car in the middle of the road, stepped out, and yelled for help. A motorist called the police who quickly came to take the report. Fortunately, the officer was compassionate and took Susan seriously. Susan drove off, leaving her ex-boyfriend by the side of the road. Read more
Have you ever suffered from anxiety, depression or trauma? Well, I have too, so I know something about what you are going through.
There are many techniques that can help you reduce anxiety, depression and trauma. Inner Voice Dialogue is one of my favorites. Here’s how it works.
How to do Inner Voice Dialogue
We tune into our inner selves with a technique called Active Imagination. We imagine different characters inside of us, and write dialogue for the different voices, just like we would write a script for a play.
I often start writing from the part of me who feels insecure, afraid, angry or hurt. I pour my heart out on the page, feeling free to complain, whine, or protest. I do my best to feel my deep emotions, not just report them. I do my best not to censor these feelings and thoughts. I let go of self-judgment. Read more
Can you relate to any of these situations?
1. You find yourself getting emotionally triggered, and you wish that didn’t happen.
2. Your relationships are damaged. You and your partner don’t know how to resolve conflicts so you don’t feel deeply loved and respected.
3. When you get emotionally triggered, you don’t deal with it constructively. Read more