I’m often asked, “What does it mean to be your Authentic Self?
Does it mean that you are happy all the time? If you aren’t happy all the time, does that mean you have not arrived at being truly authentic? Does it mean that you are never afraid? No, not at all.
Here’s my definition of what it means to live as your Authentic Self.
1. You are continually growing into the divine blueprint God designed for you. No two snowflakes are exactly alike, and neither are we. You use every situation to become more conscious on all levels: spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical.
2. Although you are not perfect (and you don’t need to be), you unconditionally accept yourself in the moment. You extend this unconditional love to others as much as you are able, while setting appropriate boundaries to take care of your self and your loved ones.
3. You draw your fundamental experience of Love from God. We are all in progress, and sometimes our loved ones cannot be our rock. You hold sacred space for them when they forget to commune with God, and therefore, cannot love you well. When you forget your true identity, your loved ones remind you of your true essence. You cultivate these loving relationships.
4. You share your unique spiritual gifts to make the world a better place. You enjoy co-creating, weaving talents together, and leaving a legacy.
5. You observe your coping strategies to see if they are healthy or not. If you are defended, you admit it, and you take responsibility for it as soon as possible. Admitting that you are defended enables you to be less defended.
6. You soften and look inside to develop more self-awareness.
Life is a journey, full of lessons. Growth is a meaningful experience in and of itself.
7. You communicate your awareness to significant others in vulnerable, transparent ways, even when you do not have it all figured out. You say what you are aware of as you move along.
8. When you feel hurt or angry, you process your emotions in healthy ways so you can open your heart again. If you have a partner, you intend to open your heart even if your partner does not. You are willing to go first. You choose to be emotionally present within yourself, deepening your spiritual intimacy. You offer to be emotionally intimate, accepting your partner’s choice to open or not, without clinging or distancing. You respect your partner and your self.
9. You sincerely apologize when needed. You ask for forgiveness and give forgiveness.
10. You enjoy supporting your loved ones to grow into more of their Authentic Self.
This is the essence of the faith traditions that teach: Love God with your whole mind and heart and soul; and love your neighbor as yourself.
It is incredibly important to learn how to process difficult emotions (fear, anger, hurt, grief) because when we don’t, we get stuck in our protections. We can’t feel the Love God is streaming to us. Our minds get so foggy that we can’t see the Light that is right in front of us. This is the core of our human suffering. When we learn how to manage our difficult emotions, and realign ourselves with God, remembering our true nature, forgiving ourselves and each other, we open again to Love. Our Authentic Self naturally emerges as the clouds clear away to reveal the sun.
If you’re looking for aha moments that light up your spirit, brain, body and heart … if you want to be in the presence of the Holy Spirit working miracles …. if you want the rewards of the deep healing work … consider attending one of my retreats. Join a safe small group, or request a private session or private retreat tailored to meet your exact needs.
Individual and couples retreats are available.
The Promises of My Retreats and Counseling
You’ll increase your spiritual intimacy and your intuition, enabling you to hear the voice of the Holy Spirit more clearly. You’ll learn how to allow your energy to flow freely, and open your heart after being wounded. You’ll strengthen your ability to feel even the most difficult emotions, while staying present in your body. When you stop abandoning yourself, you’ll receive more love into your life and share more love. You’ll be able to truly forgive, instead of just thinking you should. You’ll deepen your ability to be emotionally intimate with your loved ones.
Benita A. Esposito, M.A., is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Georgia and Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in North Carolina. She earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology. She is grateful to be a servant leader of this transformational healing work.
Use the Contact form to connect with Benita A. Esposito, MA, LPC, LCMHC.
Couples Counseling and Individual Psychotherapy available in Atlanta (Sandy Springs) and Blairsville, Georgia