Perhaps we will be together in many places,
in many phases of our lives:
Chatting with friends,
Swirling on the dance floor,
Competing in sports,
Delighting in intellectual conversations,
Relaxing by the fireplace,
Savoring delectable foods.
Wrestling with the rhythmic motion of our intertwined bodies.
Perhaps through all these times and places you may grow to trust me,
and to know in your heart that I will never hurt you.
In your own time, and in your own way you may be willing to let me in.
To see, to touch that most precious part of you
that is so soft and vulnerable and beautiful.
I would be honored to have that opportunity.
That is the most valuable gift you could ever give me.
Perhaps, at the same time, I may be willing to trust you,
To let you through my hard, outer shell that keeps me safe inside.
Yes, I am scared, too.
And yet I don’t want to keep myself too safe.
Because I don’t want to be too distant.
Safety and distance always go together.
And when you trade one, you trade the other.
Is it safe enough to take the risk?
Is it safe to let you know who I really am?
Will you promise not to laugh at me when I need you to hold me?
Will you promise to listen and not judge me when I feel sensitive?
Will you promise to feel with me when I have enough courage to share vulnerable feelings with you?
Will you promise to confront me when I step on your toes unintentionally?
Will you promise to argue with me when necessary, and stand up for yourself when I’m upset with you?
And then be willing to reach a mutual agreement that is good for both of us?
And, after that, will you rejoice with me in our renewed union that says it’s okay to have conflicts and it feels so good to get them out and get them resolved?
If you will do these things with me, I will feel fulfilled.
I will let you in to see me for who I really am:
Fun and playful.
Giggly and fresh.
Warm and caring.
Willing to give and to receive.
That’s who I am inside.
I want to let myself feel free with you.
If I don’t, you and I will have missed a valuable, beautiful experience.
I hope we let the flower of our relationship unfold,
Let it grow at its own pace.
Just let it go. Let it flow.
May we continue to enrich each others lives.
Thanks for being a part of mine.
Author: Benita A. Esposito
Copyright 1976. The Esposito Institute, Inc. All rights reserved.
To inquire about Couples Counseling, Marriage Counseling (I use Gottman Method Couples Therapy) or Individual Counseling Services, or for permission to reprint, please use the “Contact Form” on this site.
Author: Benita A. Esposito, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor
The Esposito Institute / Counseling and Life Coaching
2 Offices: Atlanta and Blairsville, GA
Psychotherapy Websites: www.Flourishing-Lives.com
Life Coaching Blog: www.YourAuthenticLife.com
Specialties: Marriage counseling (Gottman Method Couples Counseling), individual psychotherapy. Divorce, emotional roots of disease, depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, bipolar disorders and success skills. Combining intuition and evidence-based practices, Benita gets to the bottom line quickly to help clients create flourishing personal and professional lives. Psychotherapy is available in Blairsville and Atlanta. Life coaching for high achievers is available worldwide via telephone and skype.
Our greatest suffering occurs when we lose conscious relationship with God. ~Benita A. Esposito, MA, LPC