Dr. John Gottman is a rigorous psychological researcher who has studied what makes “Masters and Disasters of Marriage” for 50 years. Couples hang out at his “Love Lab” in Seattle for a weekend while assistants record their behavior and physiological responses. Gottman can predict divorce with approximately 94% accuracy. In this article, you will read popular FAQ’s about Dr. Gottman’s research. Read more
Dr. Gottman’s mathematical research on “masters” and “disasters” of marriage predicts divorce with 94% accuracy rate based on 3,000 couples in longitudinal studies.
Here are some key statistics below.
Does Wealth Create True Fulfillment?
Let me tell you a story about my friend, Jan Dahlin Geiger. Many years ago when Jan was in her mid-30’s, she was an executive earning $100,000 per year. In today’s dollars, adjusted for inflation, that would be $300,000. She was ranked in the top 5% of all income-earners in the U.S., and the top 1% of all women income-earners. She had reached every goal she had ever set. Married with two young sons, you would have thought her life was idyllic, but she was not happy. Why? At first, she did not know why. Read more
Do you know that expressing appreciation is one of the essential ingredients of a happy marriage? That’s right. According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, we must express at least five positive interactions to neutralize the impact of one negative interaction. In really happy marriages, couples express 20 positives to every one negative. The mostly destructive interactions contain criticism, defensiveness, contempt or stonewalling. When we express ourselves in this way without effective repair attempts, Gottman predicts divorce with 94% accuracy. Read more
Surefire Ways to Create an Honest and Connected Relationship
An Interview with Drs. Gay and Katie Hendricks.
I took the following notes while listening to Arielle Ford interview Gay and Katie Hendricks, relationship experts whom I highly respect. Much of my couples work is similar to theirs, and I am happy to share their insights with you. If you use these techniques, your relationship WILL improve! Read more
1. Vulnerability + authenticity + empathy = safety and intimacy
2. Tell the truth faster.
3. Ask: What can I do to love my partner in more purity?
4. Increase your ability to love yourself deeply.
5. Find the innermost pain, be non-judgmental. Stay present. Breathe! Read more
“Our Journey Together With Benita A. Esposito”
In the following story, you’ll see how a distressed couple on the verge of divorce transformed their marriage in six months. The story is told by the wife. If you want to skip the details, scroll to the end to read about the breakthroughs and what worked in therapy.
We started our journey with Benita just over eight months ago. Our 15-year-old marriage was hanging on by a shredded string. Read more
Research published by the American Medical Association indicates that 90% of all disease is stress-related. Our mind, body, emotions, spirit and relationships intricately affect each other. When we heal the emotional or spiritual root of dis-ease, pain can ease up. Sometimes other physical symptoms vanish completely. I’ll show you what I mean in the following story. Emily’s heart condition and her emotional pain healed when her husband joined her in counseling. Psychotherapy can accelerate healing, and is used as an adjunct to medicine. Read more
Carol’s heart was racing. She thought it could be a heart attack so she went to the emergency room. An MRI revealed no heart dysfunction so her doctor diagnosed it as a panic attack. She came to therapy because she wanted to discover the underlying cause so she could heal the condition without drugs.
Session 1. Carol opened our first session by explaining her recent medical emergency and then announced, “Let me tell you what I think is really causing this. It’s my relationship with my husband!”
Here are a few of my favorite books for couples. I approach Couples Counseling from three perspectives. 
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