Perfect for engaged and newly weds who want to prevent problems from ever happening, and for long-term couples who want to strengthen and repair relationship injuries.
February 10-11, 2018
Early Bird Date: Save $29 by January 10.
Blue Ridge Mountains of North Georgia
As couples move beyond the “honeymoon” phase, they inevitably encounter conflicts. If not handled skillfully by both people, emotional wounds mount up, adding one more brick in the wall. Don’t wait until the wall is too high to climb. Invest in the training you need to create the flourishing relationship you know is possible.
Common Concerns I Hear from Couples:
- I don’t want to make waves, so I keep quiet, then pressure builds and I blow up.
- I hate conflict. Why can’t we just be happy?
- I don’t feel comfortable fully opening up to my partner.
- My partner criticizes and judges me.
- I know I shouldn’t be critical, but it’s hard to stop myself.
- My partner gets quiet and distances.
- One of us gets too emotionally reactive.
- I want us to feel more deeply bonded, the way we did in the beginning.
- I hate feeling lonely and far apart.
- We used to have so much fun together.
- Our lovemaking lacks emotional connection.
- My partner doesn’t follow through on our agreements.
- To avoid conflict, I do the chores myself and then feel resentful.
- There’s been an affair, but we want to repair our marriage.
- By the time we get home from work and the kids’ events, we have to prepare dinner, do homework and get the kids to bed. We’re exhausted. We don’t have enough time for each other.
Many couples devote 90% of their time and energy to children, jobs and the extended family. No wonder they drift apart.
Some couples choose to tolerate the distance in their marriage until the children graduate. Then they turn toward each other, only to face the daunting challenge of leaping over the Grand Canyon to try to reach each other again.
Unwittingly, some couples leave their marriage vulnerable for someone else to come between them. I am not saying that affairs are right. I’m just saying it happens. Wouldn’t it be better to talk about what has led to the distance and repair the relationship injuries so your marriage is safe and secure?
“Our marriage has shifted from one filled with constant struggles, tension, and unhappiness, to one with clear communication, compatibility, and fun. We will be grateful to you forever!” – J.H., Artist
Some couples take vacations, but they don’t feel happy a month afterwards because they have not learned how to create real connection. They have not learned how to restore deep emotional intimacy during conflicts.
As a result, even little things can set them off. All this struggling is exasperating.
The good news is: You can repair relationship injuries and open your hearts again. You can prevent regrettable situations. You can learn relationship skills, just like you learn anything else.
It breaks my heart to see couples suffer with the slowness of private counseling sessions. There’s only so much we can cover in 50 minutes, and then the session ends. You can progress so much more swiftly in this Valentine’s group retreat.
“Benita has an uncanny ability to understand each of our unique personalities, and to help us build a bridge.” N.A., Speech Pathologist
This is an educational format, not marriage counseling.
If you were taking a college course, you would meet in class 2-3 times a week for 3-4 months, in addition to doing several hours of homework every week. If you want a bachelors degree to prepare you for a successful career, you would naturally attend four years of college, or more. You would think nothing of it.
The skills needed to create a healthy marriage require at least one “college” course. If you want a really good relationship, you’ll want a four year degree.
We as a society need to get realistic about the education required for healthy flourishing relationships, and stop beating ourselves up because we don’t already know how to do it.
Don’t keep waiting, hoping time will heal. Time does nothing. Small unresolved conflicts snowball into mountains if they are not repaired.
Be smart. Get educated. Remove the stigma of getting help. You and your relationship will reap the benefits.
“My husband and I did therapy with you 18 years ago when he lost a job and our marriage was floundering. After 51 years, the marriage is more solid than ever, and you helped us see the right road to travel. We will always be so grateful to you for your insight and wisdom.” – JCS, classical guitarist
Q: Do we have to be married to attend the Valentine’s Couples Retreat?
A: You can be married, engaged, living together, or dating. There must be a commitment to make the relationship succeed.
- Couples are invited who have a healthy relationship, and want to nurture their bond.
- Couples may attend who want help with challenges.
Q: What if I’m uncomfortable sharing in a group?
A: That’s understandable. You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to with the group. There will be plenty of activities where you and your partner share privately. However, if you choose to share with the group, you will discover that other couples have similar issues, and that you’re not alone. You may discover that it really is OK to be yourself, just as you are. I will teach you how to communicate from your heart without blaming your partner. That helps you both feel safe.
If you want to improve your relationship but you would rather not be in a group, contact me to schedule a Private Couples Retreat tailored to your needs.
Q: We’ve been in therapy before, but we still have conflicts.
A: That’s OK. All of our fears and insecurities arise within our intimate relationships. There’s no getting around it. When you learn how to create sacred space for each other to explore the depths of an issue, you experience the deepest healing.
- You will learn communication skills, the backbone of a healthy relationship.
- You’ll have a safe place to practice under the guidance of an expert to keep you on track.
- Deepen your intimacy on all levels, opening your heart, body, mind and spirit.
- Develop a true friendship.
- Set aside defensiveness, criticism, contempt and stonewalling.
- Listen and empathize so you feel understood and respected.
- Maneuver through anger, fear, and conflict avoidance.
- Cooperate with your partner while being true to your Authentic Self.
- Understand your personalities, your unique needs, and your gifts.
- Heal resentments and hurts.
- Ask for what you need and respond to your partner in a supportive way.
- Develop the courage to be vulnerable and transparent.
- Apologize and forgive.
- Apply the energy that was tied up in conflicts to create what is truly meaningful. When you support each other in creating your fondest dreams, your love grows exponentially.
“We get through conflicts much quicker so they don’t damage our relationship. As a result, we are more comfortable and confident in our relationship, and our future looks brighter than ever. Thank you, Benita!” – J.C., Writer/Editor/Trainer
A: No, childcare is not provided.
Q: How many people will attend the retreat?
A: A maximum of 6 couples. Register early to ensure your seats.
Q: What if we have a history of violence, drug or alcohol abuse, or an affair?
A: (1) I will teach you new skills to replace abuse. The person who is abusive must be willing to accept full responsibility for their behavior, and must choose to end the abuse. If there is current or recent physical abuse, or severe verbal or emotional abuse, this retreat is not appropriate. Schedule a private counseling appointment at your earliest opportunity.
(2) If there is active substance abuse, heavy drinking, addiction or gambling, this retreat is not appropriate.
(3) If there has been an affair that has not ended, this is not an appropriate retreat. Ask for private counseling to get help with this.
If any of these are discovered during the retreat, an appropriate referral will be made.
(1) Please Watch my YouTube video. “Four Horsemen, Don’t Let Them Ruin Your Marriage”
(2) You will each complete an application before your registration is accepted, so register early.
(3) Suggested Reading (but not required):
- “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” revised edition 2015 by John Gottman
- Look for John and Julie Gottman on YouTube.
“With Benita’s loving, non-judgmental guidance we learned what she meant by “going straight up the mountain” toward transforming not just our relationship with each other, but our relationship with ourselves. We are sure that Benita’s influence on our lives will be forever.” – P&J G. RN, Employment Recruiters
Why I Lead Couples Retreats and Marriage Retreats
I believe that healthy marriages and committed relationships are the backbone of a healthy society. As I see it, dysfunctional marriages pose one of the biggest challenge in this society. Divorce, and the anguish leading up to divorce, causes so much pain for the couple, their children and extended families. Emotional anguish makes it difficult to work. Stress increases illness. That’s why I am passionate about Marriage Counseling and Couples Counseling. When a couple learns how to love well, the positive impact reaches into their children’s lives, their siblings, parents, friends, and workplaces. Healthy couples spawn healthy children. Healthy adults become healthy leaders who generate a ripple effect to hundreds of people.
Valentine Couples Retreat Venue
We’ll meet in the Blue Ridge Mountains overlooking Lake Chatuge, Young Harris, Georgia. Two hours from Atlanta, Chattanooga and Asheville.
Schedule: February 10-11, 2018
Arrive at the retreat venue 9:00-9:15 a.m.
Saturday 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. with a 2 hour lunch break.
Sunday 9:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. with a 1.5 hour lunch break.
Q: Can you recommend hotels?
A: Click here for lodging and restaurants.
Make your hotel reservations early. Valentine’s weekend gets crowded in our mountain resort town. If you live near Young Harris, you are encouraged to stay at a hotel and get out of your home environment so it is easier for you to make the transformations you desire, but it’s your choice.
Facilitator: Benita A. Esposito is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a master’s degree in Clinical Psychology and four decades experience.
Benita has received advanced training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy, based on 40 years of research of what makes masters and disasters of marriage. She is a certified Gottman Educator. Benita specializes in Marriage Counseling and Couples Counseling. Individual counseling includes deep emotional healing, depression, anxiety, stress management, and success skills to help people experience truly flourishing lives. Click here for bio.
Early bird discount: Save $29 when you pay in full by January 10.
Register: Complete the Contact page. Tell me you want to apply for the Valentines Retreat. I’ll contact you within 48 hours, and we’ll schedule a phone interview.
Ready to Register? Got Questions?
Click here to complete the Contact Form. Tell me you want to apply for the Valentine’s Couples Retreat. We’ll schedule a phone interview and I’ll answer all your questions.
P.S. If you are allergic to cats, let me know. I have one cat who will be kept away from our meeting space if needed.
Cancellations: Your cancellation notice must be made in writing. A $50 administration fee is non-refundable. The balance of your tuition can be refunded up until 15 days before the retreat. If you cancel within 14 days, there is no refund. If you paid via PayPal, and PayPal charged a service fee, that fee is non-refundable.
In the unlikely even that I cancel the workshop, you will receive a full refund.